


Livin La Vida Mocha Groupchat

by fleimkepakosskairipa



Series: Livin' La Vida Mocha [1]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bakery and Coffee Shop, Coffee Shops, F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi, Texting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-03
Updated: 2019-03-23
Packaged: 2019-11-08 18:22:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17986295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fleimkepakosskairipa/pseuds/fleimkepakosskairipa
Summary: The Groupchat for the employees of Grounders Café, an indie coffee shop/bakery/place for broke college students and 20-something's.





	1. Moving Day!

**Author's Note:**

> So, a few things first that have to be established, but doesn't make sense to establish in the actual story.
> 
> Bellamy is dating both Echo and Murphy, Echo and Murphy aren't dating each other, though.
> 
> Jasper, Maya, and Shay are all dating each other.
> 
> Jasper, Monty, Maya, Shay, and Harper all live in the house that Jasper grew up in. In this chapter, Murphy, Mbege, Miller, Octavia, Lincoln, Bellamy, and Echo are moving in. Jackson lives by himself, Raven still lives with Sinclair, her adoptive father, Wick and Finn share an apartment, and Wells lives above the Cafe. 
> 
> This chapter is mainly Murphy, Jasper, and Miller, with a little bit of Mbege, but next chapter will showcase more of the characters!
> 
> Names of The Characters:
> 
> Bellamy: Big Blake
> 
> Murphy: The Superior John
> 
> Octavia: Little Blake
> 
> Lincoln: Tree Hugger
> 
> Jasper: Perpetually Stoned
> 
> Shay: Perpetually Confused
> 
> Maya: Perpetually Worried
> 
> Monty: Make Algea Not War
> 
> Harper: Literal Golden Retreiver
> 
> Mbege: The Better John
> 
> Miller: Disaster Gay
> 
> Jackson: Functioning Gay
> 
> Echo: Assasin In Training
> 
> Raven: Better Than You All
> 
> Finn: Better Than Tangled
> 
> Wells: Disaster Bi

The Superior John: Jasper just jumped on my bed, shouted moving day, and ran away. 

The Superior John: HE DOESN'T HAVE A KEY TO MY PLACE

The Superior John: WHO GAVE HIM A KEY

The Superior John: SOMEONE ANSWER ME

Disaster Gay: I copied mine and gave it to him.

The Superior John: I hate you

Disaster Gay: You love me

The Superior John: I'm going to kill you in your sleep

Disaster Gay: You go to sleep at 9 every night, old man, you can't kill me while you're asleep

The Superior John: No, I just leave you at 9. I have a wild social life.

Disaster Gay: No one that says they have a wild social life actually has a wild social life.

The Superior John: Except for me

Disaster Gay: Including you.

The Superior John: Except. For. Me.

Disaster Gay: Inclu. Ding. You.

The Superior John: Fight. Me.

Disaster Gay: I Will.

Perpetually Stoned: Good. Morning.

Perpetually Stoned: Why. Are. We. Typing. Like. This.

Perpetually Stoned: And. You. Need. More. Dorito's.

The Superior John: DID YOU FINISH MY DORITIOS YOU DOUCHE CANOE

Perpetually Stoned: Possibly.

The Better John: Why was I woken up by a loud bang, glass being broken, and Jasper screaming like a little girl?

The Superior John: Screams don't have genders, Mbege

The Superior John: And because Jasper needed to be taught a lesson

Perpetually Stoned: I'm dying.

Perpetually Stoned: Goodbye, sweet world.

Perpetually Stoned: Remember me fondly.

The Better John: MURPHY! WHY DID I HEAR ANOTHER SCREAM!?

The Superior John: Do you want to be tried as an accessory

The Better John: No.

The Superior John: Than don't ask questions

Perpetually Stoned: Update: I'm in the hall. I'm still dying. Y'all better dress up for my funeral.

The Superior John: I'm wearing a trash bag.

Perpetually Stoned: 1) You are a trash bag.

Perpetually Stoned: 2) You're not invited.

The Superior John: Fuck you, I can go to your funeral if I want to

Perpetually Stoned: No you can't, your not invited.

The Superior John: I wasn't invited to your seventh birthday party, but I still went to that

Perpetually Stoned: Technically, you crashed that. And then ate the cake while insulting everyone. Before I blew out candles.

The Superior John: you probably couldn't even blow them out, I was doing you a favor

Perpetually Stoned: I'm the best candle-blower-outer their is.

The Superior John: You have the lung capacity of a premature born baby with a 14 year old mother who smoked during pregnancy with lunch cancer

Perpetually Stoned: The mom has lung cancer or the baby has lung cancer?

The Superior John: Yes

Disaster Gay: Why is the mother's age important?

Perpetually Stoned: Yeah, Murphy, don't shame teenage mothers.

The Superior John: Babies born to teenage mothers have more health problems

Disaster Gay: How do you know that?

The Superior John: Because SOME of us actually paid attention in health class, Miller

Disaster Gay: Yeah, but you weren't one of them.

The Superior John: Fuck off, I was a straight A student

Disaster Gay: I've seen every one of your report cards and never once was there an A. Ever.

The Superior John: I showed you fake ones

Disaster Gay: Than why did you end up as a part time community college student?

The Superior John: Tom Hanks went to community college, so fuck and you

Disaster Gay: Since when do you like Tom Hanks?

The Superior John: Since he went to community college. Not all of us can be on sports scholarships, Miller

Disaster Gay: And not all of us can take a year off of school, flaunt it in everyone's face, and then still end up going to college.

The Superior John: You're just jealous I beat you at Mario Kart because of my intense 9 month training and natural skill

Disaster Gay: YOU CHEATED YOU MAYONNAISE LOOKING CASPER THE GHOST TWINNING DOUCHE NOZZLE

Perpetually Stoned: YOU'RE RUINING MOVING DAY

The Superior John: You're not even moving, Jasper!

Perpetually Stoned: But all of you are and you should be happy!

The Superior John: Yeah, spending 24/7 with you, it's a dream come tru

Perpetually Stoned: I knew you'd come around!


	2. Moving In Part Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jackson just wanted to see how his boyfriend was doing with the stress of moving.  
> He immediately regrets asking.  
> Featuring Mbege being done with white nonsense, Bellamy and Octavia getting exposed, and some possibly-friendly, possibly-not friendly fighting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Sorry for such a long wait in posting, hopefully a longer chapter will make up for it. Or, like, not. I'm not sure. Anyway, enjoy! Kudo's and comments are very much appreciated! Usernames are down below!
> 
> Bellamy: Big Blake
> 
> Murphy: The Superior John
> 
> Octavia: Little Blake
> 
> Lincoln: Tree Hugger
> 
> Jasper: Perpetually Stoned
> 
> Shay: Perpetually Confused
> 
> Maya: Perpetually Worried
> 
> Monty: Make Algea Not War
> 
> Harper: Literal Golden Retreiver
> 
> Mbege: The Better John
> 
> Miller: Disaster Gay
> 
> Jackson: Functioning Gay
> 
> Echo: Assasin In Training
> 
> Raven: Better Than You All
> 
> Finn: Better Than Tangled
> 
> Wells: Disaster Bi
> 
> Wick: Resistance Is Butyl

12:35 pm

Functioning Gay: How is everything going?

Disaster Gay: Everything's a disaster, I'm running away.

Disaster Gay: Or injuring myself to get put in the hospital and away from these idiots.

The Superior John: You don't have health insurance, you can't go to the hospital

The Superior John: And you can't afford a place on your own

Disaster Gay: Shit, you right.

Disaster Gay: I'm living in the wilderness from now on where rent isn't a thing.

Big Blake: Miller, you didn't even last the whole weekend when we went camping with the Boy Scouts.

Disaster Gay: I was seven, Bellamy, that was practically child torture!

Assassin In Training: You two were in Boy Scouts?

Big Blake: Yes.

Big Blake: And, no, you're not seeing pictures.

Assassin In Training: Oh, come on!

Big Blake: No.

The Superior John: Yes

Big Blake: Murphy, no.

Assassin In Training: Murphy, yes.

Perpetually Stoned: Murphy, yes.

Big Blake: Jasper!

Little Blake: Murohy, yes.

Big Blake: Can we please get back on track about what happened!?

The Superior John: Of course, lover dearest

Big Blake: Murphy.

The Superior John: What!? All I did was agree

Big Blake: Every time you call me a pet name that doesn't involve the word dick or ass, it doesn't end well and is filled with sarcasm.

The Superior John: Me? Sarcastic? Neeeeeeeeever

Big Blake: ANYWAYS.

Big Blake: Jasper said that it's a free for all for rooms.

Big Blake: Even though we already decided who got which rooms.

Big Blake: And then he ran into his room on the first floor, yelled dibs, and jumped on the bed.

Perpetually Confused: He's been practicing that all week :)

Perpetually Stoned: Don't expose me like this!

Perpetually Worried: He also fell on the floor while practicing the jump. Several times.

Perpetually Stoned: Et tu, Brutus? Et tu?

Perpetually Worried: Et tu. Very much et tu.

Perpetually Stoned: I have no girlfriends. Murphy, I'm dating you now.

The Superior John: Please, I have some standards 

The Superior John: Why do you think I'm dating Bellamy and not Echo?

Perpetually Stoned: Hey!

Assassin In Training: Hey!

Big Blake: Murphy!

The Superior John: https://media.tenor.com/images/605780a644d9bda24e299124e4585b21/tenor.gif

The Better John: Can you PLEASE just download gifs instead of googling them?

Big Blake: Can you all PLEASE stay on topic, I'm trying to expose people here.

The Better John: Continue.

Big Blake: SO

Big Blake: Octavia and Lincoln decided they couldn't wait five damn minutes to start sinning.

Little Blake: You're one to talk.

Big Blake: I am one to talk, because YOU ALMOST HAD SEX WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME

Little Blake: You once made out with your girlfriend in the middle of the club

The Superior John: And you once had sex in your sister's bed

Big Blake: Murphy!

Little Blake: WHAT!?

Big Blake: Ignore him.

Little Blake: I'm gonna kill you!

Disaster Gay: ANYWAYS

Functioning Gay: I'm beginning to regret asking......

Disaster Gay: Murphy was getting Bellamy to bring in his stuff by promising a blow job, so then Echo promised the same thing and Bellamy had to bring in both of their, plus his own, bags. And there was, like, a lot.

Disaster Gay: And then Jasper started fighting with Harper about Brangelina and Bennifer. Again.

Perpetually Stoned: Bennifer was better and Angelina's a home wrecker! It wasn't a fight, it was me being right and Harper being dumb!

Literal Golden Retreiver: Brangelina was iconic! And Rachel's the worst Friend!

Perpetually Stoned: YOU TAKE THAT BACK RIGHT NOW!

Literal Golden Retreiver: MAKE ME, BITCH!

Disaster Gay: Well, Jasper's now chasing Harpee around the house.

Disaster Gay: Mbege saw the original Bennifer/Brangelina fight, said he "Didn't have time for this white nonsense" before going to his room and yelling that everyone's an idiot.

Disaster Gay: And then Murohy said "What about me" and Mbege yelled back "You're the reason I'm here. Especially you."

Disaster Gay: And than Murphy chased Mbege and they started fighting and I'm still not sure if it was serious or play fighting but Mbege got a bloody nose and Murphy got a black eye.

Disaster Gay: And neither was Bellamy , so he threatened Mbege.

Disaster Gay: And then Murphy threatened Bellamy for threatening Mbege.

Disaster Gay: And then Echo threatened Murphy for threatening Bellamy for threatening Mbege.

Disaster Gay: And then somehow they all ended up yelling at each other.

Disaster Gay: And Monty yelled that he cut himself, but he was lying to get the fighting to stop.

Disaster Gay: And Murphy said he could never trust again.

The Superior John: I can't. My trust is forever broken. I feel hollow inside.

Disaster Gay: Okay, emo boy.

The Superior John: That's emo MAN to you

Disaster Gay: Emo BOY.

The Superior John: You want to fucking fight, Miller?

Disaster Gay: Yes.

Functioning Gay: I'd prefer if you didn't fight my boyfriend.

The Superior John: Because you know he'd get his ass kicked

Functioning Gay: I never said that.

The Superior John: You didn't deny it, either

Tree Hugger: Why was there just a loud bang from downstairs?

The Better John: More white nonsense.

The Better John: Jasper tackled Harper to the ground and says he won't get off until she admits that Bennifer is better and that he has a lot of farts saved up.

Perpetually Confused: Jasper!

Perpetually Worried: Jasper!

Make Algea Not War: Jasper!

The Superior John: Bellamy just picked Jasper up by the back of his neck like a kitten and put him in the living room and told him he was in time out

The Superior John: Your boyfriend could never

Assassin In Training: Mine could.

The Superior John: I'm trying to be a meme, Echo, fuck off

Big Blake: Do you want to be in time out, too?

The Superior John: Spankings always worked better for me

Little Blake: I did NOT need to know that.

The Superior John: You didn't need to know that I liked being spanked or that your brother liked spanking me?

Little Blake: Both!

Little Blake: I don't need to know about y'all's freaky sex lives!

The Better John: But we have to SEE yours?

Little Blake: You could have knocked.

The Better John: THE DOOR WAS OPEN!

Little Blake:.......

Little Blake: The wind opened the door?

Tree Hugger: That was bad, even for you.

Little Blake: What do you mean 'even for you'?

Tree Hugger: You gave me my birthday present a month early because you couldn't keep it from me.

Tree Hugger: And then you kept getting me more gifts, but you kept telling me about them.

Tree Hugger: I had, like, ten gifts by my actual birthday.

Big Blake: You once told Mom that you couldn't do your homework because you were temporarily blinded by your own beauty.

The Superior John: You were the one that told me Bellamy liked me

Assassin In Training: Me, too.

The Better John: You can't even keep other peoples secrets?

Little Blake: In my defense, I also told Bellamy that Murphy and Echo liked him.

The Better John: Still not your own secret!

Little Blake: And you're still a nerd.

Functioning Gay: I am severely regretting asking.

The Better John: I don't blame you.

Functioning Gay: As much as I am enjoying hearing about this disaster, I have to go and actually be a functioning adult.


	3. Exposing Murphy Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a little random convo, has nothing to do with the plot, but I thought it would be fun to write some random, fluffy, funny stuff!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't do all of their character names, because I figured they change over time and, well, I'm too lazy. Sorry!  
> All of the other character's are going to make an appearance soon, I promise!

Murphy: Okay, who's gonna take me in when Mbege kicks me out tonight?

Maya: Why is Mbege kicking you out?

Murphy: It's a long story.

Murphy: But basically, I adopted five cats and they're currently in the living room climbing up the walls.

Mbege: JOHN!

Murphy: OTHER JOHN!

Mbege: You better have them all out by the time I get out of work or I'm throwing you out of the window.

Murphy: That won't get the cats out.

Monty: How did you even get five cats? 

Monty: What shelter would give you five cats at once?

Monty: How did you afford five cats?

Murphy: I'm a mystery wrapped in an enigma, Monty, don't question me and my ways.

Echo: Did you just quote Erika Jayne?

Murphy: Winston Churchill said it first.

Miller: Yeah, but you didn't binge The Real Housewives of Churchill last week, you Bravo fanboy.

Murphy: Stop exposing me Miller!

Monty: So are we just not gonna find out how he got the cats?

Bellamy: He found outdoor cats and took them home. He tries to do it every time we go out.

Murphy: Stop exposing me Bellamy!

Murphy: This is not Expose Murphy Day!

Octavia: I declare it is now.

Octavia: Murphy once stole a shirt from Walmart.

Murphy: Am I supposed to be ashamed of that?

Octavia: What about when you called me over to get rid of a spider?

Octavia: And then wouldn't let me kill it, because all living things deserve to live.

Murphy: THINGS SHOULD LIVE! YOU DON'T NEED A REASON TO EXIST!

Murphy: And it was a huge spider!

Lincoln: He once sat in a tree that was supposed to be cut down for three hours because I asked him to.

Murphy: That was to annoy the police, not for you.

Murphy: You're not that special.

Jasper: He once beat up a person who was bullying me. Actually, he beat up several bullies, several times.

Jasper: He almost got kicked out of school for me, actually.

Jasper: And took on a guy twice is size.

Murphy: I like to fight, that's all.

Murphy: You're not special either, Jasper.

Harper: Murphy helped me dye my hair when my Mom said I couldn't. And then helped me dye it back when I ended up hating it.

Murphy: That was to piss off your mom.

Murphy: Bellamy is the only one out of all of you that's special or I care about it in any way.

Bellamy: Awwwww

Murphy: You started this, Blake, you're still on thin fucking ice. 

Bellamy: But you care about me!

Murphy: I also cared about my Tamagotchi.

Murphy: My Tamagotchi is now dead.

Murphy: Watch your fucking back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudo's and Comments are encouraged and loved!
> 
> Find me on Tumblr @ Blood-Ran-Silver!
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	4. You Can't Ground A 20 Year Old

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raven get's grounded in the name of love and everyone goes to McDonald's.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally some Raven! I'm trying to include more characters like I originally intended, so sorry for the wait if anyone is reading for the ones I haven't mentioned yet, but, I promise, everyone will get featured eventually!
> 
> Names of The Characters:
> 
> Bellamy: Big Blake
> 
> Murphy: The Superior John
> 
> Octavia: Little Blake
> 
> Lincoln: Tree Hugger
> 
> Jasper: Perpetually Stoned
> 
> Shay: Perpetually Confused
> 
> Maya: Perpetually Worried
> 
> Monty: Make Algea Not War
> 
> Harper: Literal Golden Retreiver
> 
> Mbege: The Better John
> 
> Miller: Disaster Gay
> 
> Jackson: Functioning Gay
> 
> Echo: Assasin In Training
> 
> Raven: Better Than You All
> 
> Finn: Better Than Tangled
> 
> Wells: Disaster Bi

Better Than You All: So, Sinclair grounded me.

The Superior John: How do you ground a 20 year old?

Better Than You All: He took my car keys.

Better Than You All: So I'm gonna sneak out and meet someone around the corner who'll pick me up in their car.

Better Than You All: So which one of you is gonna pick me up?

The Superior John: I don't have a car

The Superior John: And even if I did, I wouldn't pick you up

Better Than You All: Rude af

Bigger Blake: If you tell me what you did I'll pick you up.

Better Than You All: That information is completely unnecessary.

Resistance Is Butyl: Did you blow something up again?

Better Than Tangled: Did you set something on fire again?

Better Than You All: No and no!

Literal Golden Retreiver: Did you try to upgrade the electronics in the house and end up breaking them all again?

Better Than You All: No!

Bigger Blake: Did you sneak out to go set off fireworks again?

Better Than You All: I have SOME originality, guys!

Make Algea Not War: What did you do?

Better Than You All: Sinclair was talking on the phone to someone who takes her car to the shop at least twice a week for stupid things purely because she likes him and he likes her so when they were on the phone I started playing Let’s Get It On by Marvin Gaye and then when he said to turn it off I turned it up and then when he turned it down I yelled into the phone that he wants to bang her.

Better Than You All: I’m trying to help him find love!

Bigger Blake: Nevermind, I’m not picking you up.

Better Than You All: Why do you hate love, Bellamy?

 

Bigger Blake: I don’t hate love, I’m just not too fond of you.

Perpetually Stoned: Daaaaaaaaaamn

Perpetually Stoned: He got you good.

The Superior John: I knew there was a reason I liked you, Bell.

Perpetually Stoned: You mean the reason isn't his dick?

The Superior John: Well, that’s a plus.

Little Blake: If you guys don’t change the topic right away, I’m leaving the chat and destroying the house.

The Better John: White. Nonsense.

The Superior John: Mbege, last month you fell off of your bed when I opened the curtains and yelled ‘My eyes! My eyes! I’m burning!’ You can’t talk about white nonsense.

The Better John: Murphy, you once fell over WHILE YOU WERE STANDING STILL

The Superior John: That’s not white nonsense, that’s me being clumsy.

Assassin In Training: No, white nonsense is thinking a house is haunted so you go in the basement and yell ‘hello, is anyone there’

Bigger Blake: That was white nonsense, but you didn’t need to slam the door to scare him, babe.

The Superior John: THAT WAS YOU!?!?!?!?!

The Superior John: I THOUGHT THE PLACE WAS REALLY HAUNTED!!!!!

Assassin In Training: Maybe it is. Maybe a ghost possessed me.

Little Blake: Did a ghost possess you when you did a dramatic reenactment and were laughing your ass off?

Assassin In Training: Possibly.

Better Than You All: So is anyone gonna come get me or not?

Tree Hugger: Me and Octavia are on the way, but we’re going to McDonald’s first.

Better Than You All: Why first? I want McDonald’s!

Little Blake: Well, we want it now.

Perpetually Stoned: Can you bring me back some fries?

Little Blake: No.

Tree Hugger: Yes.

Little Blake: No. Get your own food.

Tree Hugger: Any other requests?

Little Blake: Lincoln! Stop being nice!

The Superior John: I could really use a big mac.

Bigger Blake: Make that two.

Assassin In Training: Make that three.

Literal Golden Retreiver: I want chicken nuggets!

Perpetually Confused: Oh, me, too!

Perpetually Stoned: Actually, chicken nuggets sounds good. I want those, too!

Little Blake: Who exactly is paying for all this food?

Bigger Blake: Everyone get in the car, I’ll take you all to McDonald’s.

Better Than You All: So you’ll take them to McDonald’s, but won’t pick me up?

Bigger Blake: Yes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like it! Kudo's and comments are welcomed and appreciated!
> 
> Find me on Tumblr @Blood-Ran-Silver!


End file.
